Employer Fail #5: The Idiocy

Around the same time that I was dealing with the dual fail of the staffing agency and the organization they shoveled me off to, I was also called back for an interview with an American university located abroad, albeit with its supporting staff offices still stateside. I was excited because, from the job description, the position sounded exactly like one I had already held for two years. What better way to be qualified for a job if not already having done it, right?

Unfortunately for me, the deluge of fail began soon after I applied. On the bright side, I received a reply that was almost instant by job application standards, about a couple of hours. On the not-so-bright-side, it was addressed to Marielle. Quickly running through my brain to verify that I was not, indeed, Marielle, I replied with alacrity that I was not Marielle, but that I would still like to interview if the message was intended for me and the misnomer was simply a mistake. An hour later, I received a reply stating that that was in fact the case, and that I could come in and interview even though my name was not, in fact, Marielle.

Employer Fail #33: Addressing your correspondence incorrectly. Seriously, is this how little you care?

I was also notified that I would be alerted as to the interview's time and location in the future, despite already being given an interview date. So, I waited for that, and actually waited for quite a while, as I didn't receive any details about where my interview would be or what time of the day my appointment was until just two days before.

(Personal pet peeve: I hate it when a listing tells you to apply by contacting Mr./Ms. X, and even though you email them, it ends up being a secretary that contacts you back and actually talks to you. If the secretary is going to be handling my application anyway, why not just ask me in the listing to contact the secretary? I know about half of the listings do that anyway, so why don't the other ones just realize it makes more sense and follow suit?)

When I was told where my interview would be, I was chagrined that it was at some secondary office outside of my current metro area. To get there, I would have to take a train. Not a subway-type train, a chugga-chugga-choo-choo train. The reason provided for why I would be interviewing so far away, and not in the offices where I would presumably be working? "There is a lot of noise on the premises." What I should have started my interview with: "I'm a problem solver. I see you had a problem with noise management, which is why this interview is taking place out here. Here's my first solution for you. CLOSE A DOOR."

Employer Fail #34: Doors. They are integral parts of many offices. Learn how to use them.

The whole having-to-take-a-train-to-my-interview situation created some unfortunate timing conundrums (conundra?). My interview was at 1:00. According to the train schedules, the train arrived at the station just six minutes before my interview--not enough time to make it on time, especially given that trains are often late. Unfortunately, such trains only run once an hour, and as a result I had to arrive far earlier than necessary.

Being unemployed for as long as I had been, I was used to entertaining myself through long stretches, so I simply brought a book, hoping to find a nice place to sit prior to my interview and pass the time that way. I made my way to the train station and then onto the train itself, and rode it until I arrived at my stop. Or, well, it was supposed to be a stop. Instead it was a little clearing by the side of the tracks that presumably had the title of my stop, though there weren't any signs visible that could have confirmed or denied this one way or another. I got off the train, walked through the clearing, walked through a very empty parking lot, walked alongside a road ensconced by thick woods until it curved, and finally came out to civilization, including the building where my interview would be held. I was about an hour early, as a result of the train somehow arriving ahead of schedule. If only I had known...

I decided to use my time taking a stroll down through wherever I was, hoping to find a place to maybe grab a bite and read until it was time to head out. Unfortunately, nothing in the area looked particularly appetizing or edible, and the few places where I could have grabbed something lacked sitting room. This was problematic as it had started to rain, thwarting my plan of sitting and reading on a bench somewhere. Having nowhere to go to keep dry but the one place I was supposed to be, I headed on in, went up some flights of stairs, went into the office, and introduced myself, stating my name and the fact that I had an interview at 1:00 clearly. The secretary, the same one that had earlier addressed me as Marielle, told me that the interviewer was busy and that I would have to wait, which were wasted words because I didn't exactly expect anything different. I asked if I could just sit and read until my interview, and handed her a copy of an application form that had been mailed to me, as well as my resume.

I sat and read for about 40 minutes, watching two other candidates, people about my age, begin and terminate their interviews. At 12:55, 5 minutes after the guy with a 12:30 interview time left the office, I walked up to the secretary and asked her if there was anything else they needed before my interview began, and if not, whether I could expect to go on in soon. After all, the other two candidates I had seen went in one after the other, with no delay. The secretary replied that as long as I gave her my application and resume, I just had to hang tight. 1:00 passed. So did 1:05. The interview came out of her office, asked what the hold up was, then went to make herself some coffee. On the way out, she apologized to me for some kind of delay. The secretary began to dial someone's number, got no response, and looked up a different one on her computer, and began to dial that, still to no avail. 1:10 passed. 1:15 did, and the interviewer came back out and struck out another conversation with me. At 1:25, she threw her hands up in the air with a facial expression that indicated "screw it" and led me into her office.

The interview began. Better late than never. Five minutes in, however, it was interrupted by a knock on her door. The secretary asked to borrow the interviewer for a second, and they talked outside for a few minutes. When the interviewer returned, she explained that there had been a mix-up, one which I had already figured out.

For some incomprehensible reason, the secretary figured that I was not, in fact, that guy with "a weird V name" and/or Marielle who had the interview at 1:00, but some guy named Michael with an interview at 1:30. She figured this in spite of the fact that I had told her upon arriving my name and interview time (neither of which were Michael) and in spite of the fact that I had handed her my application and resume, both of which had my name printed in large, clear, boldface letters. I don't know what was going through her mind. "Oh, that guy is white, so he can't possibly have a weird name! He must be a Michael!" Furthermore, whatever numbers she was dialing to get in contact with whoever was missing the interview, well, they weren't mine. Neither my cell phone nor the landline received any calls while I was at the interview. Maybe she was calling Marielle. In the end, I was made to wait over half an hour, for myself.

Employer Fail #35: Assuming that white people have names like "Michael," or whatever other train of thought that leads you to ignore my own declarations of my name and interview time and decide that I'm someone else that's interviewing later. Additionally, not putting two-and-two together when realizing that there's someone sitting there waiting for an interview, especially when you have the means to figure out their name right next to you.

In all fairness, though, I shouldn't be too mean to the secretary. She was perfectly nice, and even offered me the chance to take whatever coffee/water/donuts I wanted from the kitchen and no expense. But she did massively fail at her one job--being a secretary.

The interview itself featured a few noteworthy things. The interviewer was very different from the norm in that she seemed to be interested in me as a person, asking me about my attitudes towards higher education, why I chose the college that I did, and even the book I was reading while waiting. She wasn't exactly affable, but it was an improvement over most hiring personnel. I found out that she did not technically work for the university and nor did her secretary; they comprise a small "HR consulting" firm that basically serves as the HR department by proxy for small nonprofits that can't afford to staff those positions in-house. She did, however, tell me that the reason we couldn't interview on-site was because there was an institutional shutdown for the week, and that the offices were unfortunately closed. While a better excuse than the "it's too loud and doors confuse us!" tripe I had gotten earlier, why couldn't that have just been given as a reason to begin with?

Employer Fail #36: Why lie to me about the reasoning behind requiring me to go to a different interview location? What am I going to do, decide that I suddenly don't need a job from a place that gets locked out of its own offices occasionally?

The interview generally went pretty well, at least in my uneducated opinion. Seriously, how do you tell a good interview from a bad one? The one unfortunate thing was that, while we talked, the interviewer told me that the university was weary about hiring younger candidates (read: recent graduates) because they had done so a lot in the past, and many showed that they were incapable of doing the work satisfactorily, either due to an inability to comport themselves well around older prospects and beneficiaries, or the lack of self-discipline necessary to be productive even while working in an office without clearly-defined goals. If that went into her judgment of me by default, well, that won't make me a happy camper. But it's not like I'll ever find out.

Employer Fail #37: Prejudice against candidate groups based on past experiences. It's not my fault that sometimes people can't handle the jobs they're given. Why punish me for it?

At the interview's conclusion, she told me I would be notified by the end of the week if I were going to move on to interviewing with the department's current employees. I didn't hear back from them. Not for about three months, anyway. A few days ago, I received an email that informed me that the position had gone to another candidate.

Employer Fail #38: It takes you three months to reject me? It's not like I have the cognitive function to realize that if you didn't call when you said you would, it was pretty much over. No, actually, I was a writhing mass on my apartment floor this entire time, howling, "When will they let me know?!?!" over and over out into the starry night, waiting desperately for a response, if only to free me from my endless torment. Seriously, don't waste your energy, I know a silent rejection when I get one.

In retrospect, I don't know what I could have done differently. Not been my age? (I need the Satanic magicks used in Employer Fail #4.5 to age Miss Teen South Carolina to get a job, apparently.) Said my name and interview time more emphatically, and repeated it more times? Maybe I should have just pretended to be named Michael. Or Marielle.